Saturday, February 21, 2009

A few new laws added to the constitution

1. We the Gloobertopian police,(A.K.A the Fa Shiown police)* hereby claim the right and responsibility to interrogate and/or torture a perceived wrongdoer in the interest of the safety of the country. That includes dead people and animals.

2. It is illegal to waste food in Gloobertopia.

3. Therefore, it is illegal to put toasters into bathtubs, because it might wet the toast.

4. However, the person will not be charged with attempted suicide by self-electrocution by wet toaster. Because that person is 'wet toast'.

5. Dead people can still be arrested. We dunno why we like torturing dead ppl so much.

5. It is illegal to forge a signature, including one's own.

6. It is illegal to kill a dinosaur or dodo. They are protected species.

7. Wet toast is free from prosecution. Unless they are buttered with cheese on a Monday.

8. And again, do not desecrate cheese on Mondays. It's part of our "we have a religion so we can dump insane and sometimes random taboos onto you" program. (And we secretly hate you.)

9. All those who keep pet fish require a fishing license. Because fishing is controlled. (Apparently, we can't tell the difference between a fish license and a fishing license.)

10. All government companies must arrange daily two-hour meetings on how to increase office productivity as part of our economics program.


*The Fa Shiown police is the new police force created by Gloomunster. The Arbiter Tribunal is not set up yet, so jurisdiction, or what is right and wrong, is decided by tossing a coin.